Choosing your celebrant is one of the most important decisions you will make for your wedding day.

We all know that flowers fade and the wedding cake gets demolished, but your ceremony is the part guests will remember (as well, maybe, as the surprisingly big shapes Aunt Mary was making on the dancefloor at midnight). Done right, your ceremony sets the tone for everything that follows.

And when it comes to creating a ceremony that really feels like you, more and more couples in Northern Ireland are choosing a humanist wedding.

In 2024, 15% of all marriages in Northern Ireland were humanist – that’s more than one in every seven weddings. And in September 2025, a huge milestone was reached, with over 5,000 legally recognised humanist marriages having taken place here since they were first legalised in 2018.

With that rise in popularity comes a growing number of celebrants who can officiate your wedding. Which is a brilliant thing… but it can also make choosing the right one feel a little overwhelming.

So how do you find the right humanist celebrant for you?

Here are a few things to think about.

1. Look for someone whose style feels like you

Every celebrant brings their own style to a ceremony. Some are more traditional and formal. Others are deeply romantic, weaving in lyrical, love-filled moments throughout. Others, like me, are relaxed, story-led and full of personality.

There is no right or wrong here. It is simply about finding someone who feels like a natural fit for you as a couple. Someone whose tone, energy and approach matches the kind of ceremony you are hoping to create.

In many ways, it is not unlike finding your partner. You are looking for your celebrant soulmate. The One. The person who just feels right.

When you are reading a celebrant’s website or looking through their social media, take a moment to really tune into your reaction. Can you picture yourself enjoying the planning process with this person? Do you feel at ease reading their words or watching them speak?

It is also worth thinking about how they come across. If you enjoy listening to them, there is a good chance your guests will too. If something does not quite land for you, your guests may feel that as well.

Most importantly, ask yourself if their style feels like you. If it reflects your personalities, your relationship and the atmosphere you want to create on your wedding day.

When it fits, you will know.

 

2. Read testimonials and reviews (and read between the lines)

Reviews are one of the most helpful tools we have when choosing a wedding celebrant. After all, if someone has lots of five star reviews, they must be a good fit for you… right?

Not necessarily.

It is important not to stop at the star rating. Take the time to read what people are actually saying. The language couples use can tell you far more than a number ever could.

Do couples mention feeling at ease? Do they talk about how personal the ceremony felt? Are guests still speaking about it weeks or even months later? These are the details that give you a real sense of how the ceremony was experienced in the room.

Look for the words and phrases that resonate with you both. The ones that reflect the kind of atmosphere you want to create and the feeling you want to walk away with at the end of your ceremony.

You can read my Google Reviews here.

3. Think about the delivery, not just the script

A beautiful script is important. But what truly makes a ceremony unforgettable is how that script is delivered.

The pacing.
The tone.
The pauses.
The moments of laughter, and the quieter, more emotional ones.

A great celebrant does not simply write your story. They bring it to life. It is their experience, their presence and their ability to read the room that transforms words on a page into something that is felt by everyone there.

It is about how they respond to you and your guests in the moment. How they adapt to the atmosphere. And how they create a sense of connection that carries right through the ceremony.

One of the best ways to get a feel for this is to watch how they communicate. Take a look at their social media. Notice how they speak to camera. Pay attention to how they engage with you during video calls or initial meetings. This will hopefully give you clear sense of whether they can create the kind of experience you are hoping for.

4. Make sure you feel comfortable

This one really cannot be overestimated.

I have lost count of the number of couples who have told me how surprisingly relaxed they felt when sharing their story, and how by the time their wedding day arrived, it felt like a friend was standing with them at the front.

That matters to me as a celebrant, and it should matter to you as you plan your ceremony.

But why?

Because you will be sharing more than just how you met or your favourite memories together. You will be talking about the people who matter most to you. Sometimes that includes loved ones who are no longer here, but who you still want to honour and include in your ceremony.

These are meaningful, personal conversations, and it is so important that you feel at ease.

Your celebrant should feel like someone you can talk to openly. Someone who listens carefully, understands what matters to you, and gently guides you through the process of planning one of the most significant moments of your lives.

When you feel comfortable, everything changes. The nerves soften, the atmosphere relaxes, and your ceremony unfolds in a way that feels natural and genuine.

 

 

5. Find someone organised

I am no circus performer, but I certainly felt like I was spinning a hundred plates in the run up to my own wedding in 2017.

It is no surprise that many couples feel a little out of control during the planning process. There are so many moving parts, decisions to make and timelines to juggle.

One of the simplest ways to ease that feeling is by working with suppliers who make you feel calm, supported and in control.

Organisation is a big part of that.

Here are a few green flags to look out for:

 

• • They reply to emails promptly before you have booked them

• • They continue to reply promptly after you have booked them

• • They provide a clear planning timeline and stick to it

• • They check in with you throughout the process

• • They schedule meetings with plenty of notice

• • They share your ceremony script well in advance of your wedding day

Not every wedding supplier works in this way, but your celebrant should. They play such a central role in your day, and the experience leading up to it matters just as much as the ceremony itself.

If your celebrant feels disorganised at the beginning, it is unlikely that will change as things progress.

6. Check what’s included

Every celebrant works slightly differently, so it is worth taking the time to understand exactly what is included in their service.

This part often gets overlooked, but it can make a big difference to your overall experience.

Do they:

 

• • Meet with you to get to know your story?

• • Help with vows, readings and symbolic elements?

• • Guide you through the structure of the ceremony?

• • Include a rehearsal?

• • Provide a keepsake copy of your ceremony script?

• • Offer an easy way to stay in touch, such as a WhatsApp group?

• • Support you with the legal paperwork?

The process behind the scenes is just as important as the ceremony itself.

Knowing what to expect from the start helps you feel more confident in your choice, and ensures you are working with someone who will support you every step of the way.

 7. Choose a trained and accredited celebrant

In Northern Ireland, humanist celebrants are trained and accredited by the charity Humanists UK – an organisation with strong values centred around equality, compassion and respect.

When you choose a celebrant accredited by Humanists UK, you’re not only choosing someone who has been professionally trained and supported, you’re also contributing to the wider work they do in N Ireland, across the UK and beyond.

As part of this, couples also receive a year’s membership to Humanists UK – a lovely little extra that many don’t even realise they’ll receive and a great way to support the charity.

8. Trust your gut

After all the research, all the review snooping, all the socials deep-diving it often just comes down to a feeling.

If you can, it is worth having a chat with a few celebrants you feel drawn to. Most will offer an initial call, and this can give you a real sense of how it might feel to work together.

If you come away from a conversation thinking, “Yes, this feels right,” then you are probably onto something.

Very often, you will just know.

And if you’re currently looking…

If you’re planning your wedding in Northern Ireland and looking for your celebrant soulmate, I’d love to chat.

You can get in touch here or send me a message on Instagram or Facebook with your date and venue.